Cow Tipping Happens!

Reams of articles have come out dispelling this notion of cow tipping, relegating the phenomenon to a kind of urban, actually rural, legend.

According to the latest pencil pusher, a regular size cow can be pushed aside if someone comes along generating 1,360 Newtons!

How many of you guys know how much 1,360 Newtons really is?

1360 Newtons here, 1360 Newtons there... Soon almost everyone was upside down from their Newtonian epiphany.

No, thats not Fig Newton's.

I'm a doctor; we're way too scientific here.

Even the Brits have formed an opinion. Nick Collins, the impressive fellow below, works for the U.K. Telegraph. His attempt seems honest and straightforward, but if you stop reading here you will believe his erroneous viewpoint and never really understand this cool legend, for like all legends, a real thing created the seed for the story.

BULLOCKS, I SAY!

You see, in spite of the science and math, cow tipping is real, a necessary part of performing surgery on the cow, when the bovine really is cast upside down to relieve a left displaced abomasum.

By flipping the cow upside down I can right the displacement and relieve the pain of the bloat by untwisting the abomasum. Then I’ll suture it in place, anchoring it with a unique toggle pin, so it doesn’t move back again. Next I’ll give her IV calcium and glucose, and finally, we'll clean out the infected juices and tissue left over from her calving.